But then the wind comes and like a leaf, I am taken away on an spiral ..it takes me to a place where I am no longer enjoying that blissful emotion ..it was so ephemeral, as if I don’t deserved it .. it saddens me.
.. if someone confess love when drunk .. should you believe it?
Funny .. I was secretly wishing that to happen ..that you would talk to me like that .. “a drunk mind speaks a sober heart”..
Or was it just because you were distressed about the fear of losing someone else that made you expressed those feelings.. and I was just happen to be there?..
am I being delusional?
I was trying to be friendly and supportive and empathetic while deep inside a very selfish ogre was probably celebrating that things were not working out well with the other person..
Crisis among them .. disrespecting and hurting your partners feelings is what I heard it happened.. so I wished you the best ..try to correct yourself..and you said love, love
, love, don’t leave .. I adore you ..adore adore .. I’ve always have .. I love u.. so many times ..
each time you said that it made my heart bigger..
How’s that possible that someone so far away can shake my soul like this.
Today I knocked at your door again .. intuitive thoughts were saying maybe is not a good idea .. give some space .. but I did it anyway..
You are fine now .. sober and calm ..things seem to look better for you.. I don’t ask anymore then .. I understand ..
Wished you best and left ..
The tiny selfish ogre inside me says .. that rock is getting all cracked..and when another bad day happen then you will look for me again .. cause I do listen to you and give you good advice.. as a special friend now .. but wishing one day ..one day .. you and I can put our backpacks and other love stories and everything else aside and embrace the days ahead together .. I’m not going to give up on that..I want that day to come..
I needed to write this down.. I know it sounds kind of confusing..(sorry about that).. the reason I post it here is not necessarily to get anyone’s reaction.
For me it’s the same as putting a big ad on a billboard on a high hill full of lights and dazzling colors, hoping that you may be able to see it from far away..I simply wanted to say it loud and clear to the world..
.. I love you..