“It’s not really a love story but
a story about love”
When I was in my 20’s, a long time ago ..
I met this guy in college and we created a very strong bond, I can say we had a beautiful friendship.
I thought I was sailing that boat though until..
.. one day, and because my country was dealing with a lot of political conflicts.. We were protesting in the streets.. suddenly things turned very dramatic when another student got shot on her head .. miraculously she didn’t died.. I only knew her by her nickname.. same as mine.
My friend wasn’t at the protest with me that day .. he was traveling home on a bus. When he heard what happened he took another bus and returned right away because he thought it was me who got shot .. he travelled 24 hours that way and another 24 hours back just to realize I was totally fine .. I never knew he did that .. until someone told me.. my friend was deeply in love with me.
In my heart I thought it would be better to let him know that very unfortunately it was not mutual.. sort of giving him a real card about my feelings towards him. I thought I couldn’t pretend to love someone. That’s not healthy for either one of us.
..years later I married and moved away from the country and, years after that, I found this friend again in a Facebook page.. he told me he did several searches to try finding me in social media pages, unsuccessfully..until a friend in common posted an old picture and I saw myself there so I made a comment
.We started chatting again.
Just as old friends from college.
He mentioned one day that he visited the neighborhood I used to live and send me pictures of it..I thought that was very nice and cute of him .. he told me many things he remembers about me that I even forgot myself ..More that 20 years have passed!!
I thought then that his love actually never ended..:(
His birthday just passed and I actually missed the day so I sent him a belated birthday message. He had about 70 other messages from family and friends on his page.. he didn’t acknowledge, give likes to anyone.. except mine which he reacted with a “”
One side of me can’t deny feeling very flattered but on the other side I feel bad again and flashbacks from the old times strikes me again .. We really don’t chat much.. it has been months .. the only thing that I reflect about this is that I believe I got karma for not giving him a chance.
Why I feel that? .. well .. this is when my story starts mixing/messing a little..
The love of my life (another person) is actually not the man I ended marrying:(
He lives in the country I left 15 years ago.. we still know about each other and I wish things would have worked for us .. I do believe sometime in the future it will work but that is a story for another time .. and I don’t want to extend more about that now .. this is already a long shot ..
I know since I’m married, people might think that perhaps I am a bad person for expressing love for someone else.. but to me.. it feels different .. this is a connection on another level .. I can’t take away or erase from my heart .. it’s like embedded
I believe the karma I am getting for rejecting the love of this college friend needs to leave me in order for the things I am asking the universe brings me to happen.
I do believe in these symbols and my intuition seems to start itching with this thoughts and feelings ..
Am I making any sense? Am I mixing two completely different things? Is there anything I could work mentally in order to get the spiritual alignment I need to make things to happen and bring love back to my life?
I feel unbalanced..I want these waters to calm down so I can sail my boat again ..
...I’m so bewildered
Thank you for reading.. I know my post sounds confusing.. in advance, your thoughts are very appreciated
Last edited by Peace2all on Thu Mar 07, 2019 9:20 pm; edited 2 times in total